Well I was thinking about how after a certain age you gain like 5 pounds a year. And I realized in 2000 I was 50 lbs lighter then I am now. WTF? That's actually 6 lbs a year that I've gained since 2000. Wow that sucks. I mean yes I'm losing it now, but it seems to take so long to lose it. I wonder every day, "what am I doing wrong?" "I didn't eat bad and I worked out hard" It makes me sad to be like this. I want to be back to my fitness model self. I have my "goal" pictures up all over, you know the ones "they" say to put up a goal picture of someone who has the body you want to have? Well they are all of me. That makes me sad, what the heck did I do, stopped working out as much, stopped eating right, having over 8 surgeries and pneumonia, cracking my ribs flying off of a horse. ? I mean are those good excuses? I don't think so. I can't blame having my daughter as I actually weighed LESS then I did before I got pregnant when I left the hospital. I was 119. That's pretty darn great. Ten years of Karate I guess kept me in shape pretty great back then along with the fact that I was....21. I'm feel really old and ugly today. Usually I'm full of energy and happy and raring to go, not today. It's drab weather and I'm feeling drab. Boogie Box is tonight, maybe after that I will feel better, I usually do. You want to see me, my goal picture of myself? Here it is on the upper left. Me at my goal weight of 135. I'm 5'6 1/2 so that's a good weight for me. Notice my hand? I'm always covering up where I give my insulin shots, How weird is that? I subconsciously do that in all my bikini pictures. I will post more after my measurements tomorrow.....
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