Sad today

I'm very sad and upset today. I have to call my doctor to have tests done or something as I haven't lost any weight this week. I actually gained weight. I have been drinking a gallon of water a day and no sodas. I don't know, maybe I just hold water too much and too long. I'm very sad and depressed. I feel like a fat cow. I was measured by Dede and I gained inches in some areas and stayed the same in others. That sucks.

I feel so fat and old and ugly. Nothing to do with Boogie Box, it’s just me feeling depressed that I have let myself get out of shape. I don’t want to be able to tell people I’m a diabetic and have them not look surprised. I want it the way it used to be when I would tell people I was a diabetic and they would say “Wow really? You don’t LOOK like a diabetic”, and I used to get upset and think “WTF is a diabetic supposed to look like?”. But I know they were talking about the 95% of diabetics that are out there, Type 2 diabetics who are usually overweight. Now they don’t seem surprised when I tell them I’m a diabetic and that makes me really sad.